February 2011
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Hollywood Eats Classics Alive and Shits Them Out...
Having thoroughly enjoyed Daniel Dafoe’s ‘Robinson Crusoe’ after a recent reading (I know, it’s disgusting that I had not yet read it), I decided it would be a good idea to check out the 1997 film adaption - starring Pierce Brosnan.
What. A. Sack. Of. Shit.
And I thought games have it bad when it comes to ‘filmification’. Dafoe must have been writhing in his...
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Thoughts and Dreams of Guns
I adore firearms. I love my revolvers, pistols, sub-machine guns, carbines, rifles, shotguns and whatever have you.
There’s few things I enjoyed more about the military than the countless opportunities I was given to send 5.56mm ball rounds downrange towards figure-15 targets waiting 300 meters beyond my position amidst the monsoonal downpour.
I loved the feeling of a rifle; my rifle;...
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“My father, a wise and grave man, gave me serious and excellent counsel against...”
– - Robinson Crusoe
One reason I’ve always enjoyed some of the more accessible English classics is the fact that the great authors of the time seem to share in my hatred of short sentences and frugality towards punctuation.
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Asian Habits That Die Hard; Things You Do Not Do...
I had a rather amusing if awkward incident during the last visit to my girlfriend’s family residence.
She has four younger siblings and whilst her upbringing was steeped in the brutal regimentation that is only possible through Asian mothering, the youngest three have the good fortune of being in their childhood-prime long after her mother got ‘sloppy’ after moving to Australia...
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“At some point in our lives, we men will get into an argument over which is worse...”
– Az’ - You can view his site here. I love this guy’s stuff!
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To My Friends of Religious Conviction
It’s no secret that I’m a rather… opinionated individual, and that I spare no enthusiasm when it comes to voicing my thoughts - especially here on Tumblr. I can imagine many of my friends; particularly those of strong religious faith; rolling their eyes whenever one of my vitriolic posts appears on their Facebook or Tumblr updates.
“Oh great, it looks like Leon’s...
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Keep calm and take ALL the Prozac.
[revising my grandfather's eulogy]
Mom: Maybe you should leave the part out about him being a good member of community and always asking how everyone's families were. He didn't care.
Me: Who the fuck cares?! You're supposed to make people look good in these things, not tell the truth!
From Zaychik
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Hahaha... this is so damned true.
I've always resented how the families of dead people as well as the media tend to lionize deceased individuals, heaping posthumous praises upon them. These might include clichés such as 'perfect son', and 'greatest friend' and 'best student'. This kind of behaviour paints a disgustingly-polished picture of them, and I'm sure it is to make the loss of their life seem all the more tragic.
There's never a mention of how annoying or how much of a douche they might have been. No sir, it's all about social martyrdom and human tragedy! I'm going to hell for the following statement, but I suspect that case in the U.S. where a primary-schooler shot a female peer at the playground was provoked by a protracted campaign of bitchy bullying on the part of the slain. I guess she probably didn't expect to get some of them apples as .45ACP in the forehead. Who's the shrimpy nerd now!?
Girlfriend, Mum, Dad, Sister and friends: If I ever die controversially, please let the world know how much of a (lovable) douchebag I was. None of that polished persona crap, kthnx.
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Ballistic Codpieces
I think there is a direct correlation between how much of a douchebag a nation-state’s government is and the size/frequency of its military parades in urban centers. A multiplier of this would be whether or not they include large guided missile systems as a part of these extravagant displays.
Any given country’s douchebag rating (D) could be calculated with the following formulae:
(Z...
