June 2010
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“It could best be described as “imagine if someone at DICE went over to...”
– Stuart, on the Medal of Honor multiplayer beta.
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Satan Lives Within The Confines of my Dish-Washer.
I will stab the next person that tries to reason to me that dishwashers work mechanically and not through various enchantments and black magicks. There’s no other rational explanation of how those plates come out so-very squeaky-clean.
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Hard Come and Easy Go
Why does everything that requires an application in Australia take 10 times as long as it would in any other country? Do I have to turn up at the corporate headquarters wearing Kevlar and wielding a loaded Kalashnikov before someone finally does something? How come they were able to process a debit transfer out of my account instantaneously, despite everything else being slow-as-fuck? Bureaucratic...
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On Games, Sodomy and Processed Meat.
Leon: I preordered SC2 and I have been working on a custom map in the editor Beta.
Daniel: why O_O
Daniel: i'm just gonna play it singleplayer
Daniel: oh
Daniel: excellent!
Daniel: i refuse to waste my time playing it online
Daniel: i know i'll sink huge amounts of time into it because i'm overly competitive
Leon: Play U.M.S dude, fuck the ladder.
Daniel: i laddered till i was rank 1-5 every month on red alert ages ago -_-"
Leon: I'm in it purely for the campaign and UMS.
Daniel: my friends are really into the competitive aspect of sc though
Daniel: they religiously watch the korean progamer vids and follow all their tournies
Leon: The new editor is insanely powerful - it'll make the custom UMS maps from WC3 look like childs' play
Leon: I'm hoping though that there isn't a revival of Dota.
Leon: Because whilst I loved Dota for a while, it got fucking annoying when that was all anyone hosted on Bnet.
Leon: Or you'd go to a lan shop and that's all anyone would be playing.
Leon: And so I grew to hate it.
Daniel: dude
Daniel: dota has spawned its own full fledged independent games
Daniel: freakin aeon of strife
Daniel: from sc1
Daniel: spawned an entirely new genre of games
Leon: League of Legends *
Daniel: amongst other dota clones
Leon: Which I'm told is fucking awesome-sauce
Daniel: a few of my friends were really into the dota clones
Daniel: yeah
Daniel: i've seen it
Daniel: it looks fantastic
Daniel: but i'm never ever going to play it
Daniel: You fear for your soul?
Daniel: no
Daniel: i just find it retarded
Daniel: put it this way
Daniel: i have friends
Daniel: who complain
Daniel: that it's difficult
Daniel: in fact
Daniel: outright impossible
Daniel: to use more than 1 hero
Daniel: i can use 3
Daniel: and play like i would normally
Daniel: simply because i actually play real fps -_-"
Daniel: er i mean
Daniel: rts
Daniel: dota destroys rts skills!
Daniel: i was so pissed off at my buddy when we played ra3 co-op
Daniel: because he never expanded in time
Daniel: and kept dying to the most ridiculous attacks
Daniel: forcing me to save him
Daniel: i very much prefer
Daniel: l4d2
Leon: Hahahaha, I find it fucking hilarious how you can't take any game lightly.
Daniel: yeah
Daniel: i can't
Leon: you feel this irresistable urge to throw yourself entirely into it.
Daniel: i have a natural tendency to hardcore everything -_-
Leon: You can never play them in a pedestrian manner - it's all or nothing with you.
Leon: Is it that way with sex too? sheesh.
Daniel: wouldn't you like to know leon
Leon: Maybe, out of morbid curiosity - Now I have this image of you being ridden cowgirl whilst the girl holds on to a cieling fan that causes her to spin atop your cock, creating enough circular friction to make kindling out of your pubic hairs.
Daniel: you have
Daniel: the queerest fantasies
Daniel: but fear not
Daniel: i have no pubic hair
Leon: How the fuck is that Queer? it involves extreme heterosexual intercourse.
Leon: Vaginal too, I might add.
Daniel: i've seen a video of something similar...
Daniel: set to the song of
Daniel: you spin me right round
Daniel: oh wait it wasn't a video
Daniel: it was one of those 4chan gifs
Leon: http://www.meatspin.biz/
Daniel: NOO
Daniel: i'm NOT clicking that
Daniel: i have a good idea what that is
Leon: It's totally innocuous.
Leon: www.meatspin.com is the one you must watch out for.
Daniel: i'm not clicking on any of those!!!
Leon: Dude, what are you, christian or something? Are you afraid of a little sausage?
Daniel: why yes
Daniel: i am in fact christian
Daniel: but more importantly
Daniel: i've seen that once
Daniel: and that was ONE TIME TOO MANY ALREADY
Daniel: and i remember
Daniel: it wasn't a little sausage
Daniel: ARGH YOU FAGGOT
Daniel: I CLICKED IT
Daniel: DIE LEON
Daniel: DIE DIE DIE
Leon: I guess I lied.
Leon: What good friend doesn't?
Daniel: DAMMIT
Daniel: the 2nd one was fake
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