Carbon-Based. Vertebrate. Bipedal. Mammalian. Homo-Sapien. Son. Brother In-Law. Brother. Friend. Best-Friend. Companion. Lover. Boyfriend. Crush. Omnivorous-Carnivore. Eurasian. Adult. Atheist. Blasphemer. Social Libertarian. Political Fascist. Australian. Singaporean. Nuisance. Skinny. Muscular. Student. Sophomore. Handsome. Ugly. Undergraduate. Soldier. Stalkee. Corporal. Employee. Rival. Enemy. Ex. Threat. Narcissist. Glutton. Cunt. Creep. Faggot. Emotional. Homo. Metrosexual. Sweetheart. Confidant. Inspiration. Scapegoat.
Right now, at exactly this moment, I am all of these things - either by my own admission or through the observations, conferrals or accusations of those who encounter me.
It’s worth noting that “Faggot” is courtesy of my ever-loving girfriend, who probably hates me and dreams of ways in which to kill me with sharpened blades as she sleeps beside me.
Here’s a little gem from an auction for a true-to-size resin reproduction of a Sabertoothed Cat skull.
I personally love how there’s a blatantly transcribed paragraph of articulate English tacked on in the second part of the item’s description.
“If you believe that the saber-toothed tiger and the different museums on the wrong, as I think a few years ago, the museum put the guy is really.
Smilodon populator, the largest of the Sabretooths ranged only in South America, about the same time that Smilodon fatalis roamed both North and South America. Both went extinct by the end of the Pleistocene.
In its overall physiques, Smilodon was slightly shorter than an African lion, but almost twice as heavy. In marked contrast to such fast runners as lions and leopards, it had short but powerful legs, a very muscular body and a puny tail. Smilodon didn’t run far while hunting; more likely it attacked its prey from ambush.”